May 6, 2011

∴ #5byBond: For Your Eyes Only

This week’s outing from the Bond oeuvre is For Your Eyes Only, the twelfth film in the franchise.

My notes:

  • awesome 80s hairdo on Sheena Easton as she sings the theme song.
  • first notice of “Universal Exports,” on the side of the helicopter that picks up Bond from the cemetery. He is visiting the grave of his wife, Teresa.
  • Blofeld says they can do a deal, that he’ll buy Bond a delicatessen. What?!
  • good start to the movie, Bond dispatches Blofeld once and for all.
  • beautiful locations in this film, around the Greek isles.
  • the Lotus Esprit returns!
  • really bad musical score.
  • the identigraph thanks you for your attention.
  • Bond is looking a little aged in this outing. Moore has just two more outings as Bond after this.
  • Bibi is a bonehead. Fit, blond bonehead.
  • skiing, endless skiing.
  • the post-Connery Bond films all seem to go downhill around halfway through. This one lurches toward derailment during the endless ski pursuit, when Bond is chased by two motorcycles as he skis through a chalet and across a dining table. And down a bobsled run. This is the gimmicky crap that made later Bond films second rate. It won’t improve until Daniel Craig comes along.
  • Bond scores goals on the rink by putting thugs into the net. Scoreboard shows three goals.
  • Countess von Schlaf sounds like a name Mel Brooks would come up with.
  • the plot actually gets a little better after the endless skiing has, uh, ended.
  • Ugh. Moore has some nasty lower back hair goin’ on.
  • Another example of a bad guy not killing Bond, this time by keelhauling.
  • All but two guards at St. Cyril’s are conveniently asleep, in a bunkhouse!

This was actually an interesting story, and the locations were beautiful. The Bond Girl is Melina Havelock, played by Carole Bouquet. Very lovely. So-so actress.

This is the first of five Bond films directed by John Glen, an assistant director on previous Bond films. This one, at least, wasn’t bad.

Up next week: Octopussy. Really.